What's your "I can explain" story? r/AskReddit | Reddit Jar

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Army Mickey
Army Mickey - 2 days ago
21:00 i’m ashamed to say this, but i’ve done this too 😂😂
Mason Gamer
Mason Gamer - 14 days ago
11:57 boiii that’s jingle all the way
L4LC
L4LC - 4 days ago
ikr
Coolbean78
Coolbean78 - 15 days ago
The window one killed me 🤣🤣😭😭🤣
Pickled Ginger
Pickled Ginger - 15 days ago
I shat mazel. Me too dude.
Fianna Hartmann
Fianna Hartmann - 17 days ago
ohNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO again.
Fianna Hartmann
Fianna Hartmann - 17 days ago
OhNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
OriginalRecipe
OriginalRecipe - 17 days ago
Joined a weird discord server full of weirdos and it had a very memish atmosphere. There was deadass a roblox porn link and of course my dumbass clicks it. I of course get out of it soon because hey, unironic roblox porn is funny af to look at cus of how ridiculous it is. Left it in my history and forgot about it Flash forward to my bro's friends coming to our house and ofc they search "por-" in my history and find the roblox porn. Obviously you can see the problem and I did my best to explain to them that I did it for the meme because : who the hell unironically looks at roblox porn?

That experience and hentai games appearing in my history because of pop-up ads in anime pirating websites.
KryssLaBryn
KryssLaBryn - 18 days ago
Saw this happen with some friends of mine and damned near peed myself laughing.

So, okay, we all do historical recreation (you know, dressing up in Medieval clothes and having feasts etc, lots of fun), and she'd made really beautiful matching outfits for her and her boyfriend for this one feast we were at. Beautiful Italian Renaissance dress for her; matching doublet and hose, etc for him. Think Romeo and Juliet. However, she'd had to finish his off in a rush at the last minute, so he hadn't had a chance to try it on before the day, and it ended up that the elastic of the jock strap she'd used as the base for his codpiece (which sits over the puffy shorts, but under the skirt of the doublet) was a bit tight on him, and partway through the feast, the stitching holding one of the straps on at the front lets go.

Well, we manage to borrow a safety pin from somewhere, and they head to the washrooms to sort it out, only to realize that (a) the safety pin won't hold while the elastic is being stretched out that bit extra as he's pulling it up, and (b) due to the gendered bathrooms (this was in the 90's) they can't both be in the same one, so she can't help him out in privacy. And of course, they don't want to do it in the middle of the feast, so they stay in the (extremely well-lit, and high-traffic) hallway outside the washrooms to try and fix it there.

So far so good, except the end of the elastic strap had frayed a bit when the stitching came out, so she really had to reef on it to get the strap close enough to the codpiece to be able to pin them together. And that necessitated her holding the safety pin in her teeth while she tried to pull the ends together. And of course it was awkward to do so bent right over, and the skirts of the doublet (which came to about mid-thigh) kept getting in the way, so she finally gave up, just knelt on the floor in front of him, and flipped his skirts over her head.

So he's standing there, hands on his hips, with an extremely embarrassed grin on his face, with his girlfriend on her knees in front of him, head up under the front of his groin, repeatedly yanking his hips towards her and saying, "'old thtill! I'e a'most 'ot it in!"

And, of course, for bonus points, who should come by to use the can right then but the Baron. XD
Gabriel626
Gabriel626 - 18 days ago
11:37 same bro all I got my kid was Booster and nobody likes him
A Veronica Sawyer-Heather Chandler Sandwich
I have "sims ham costume cc" on my search history. I can explain; I was playing Sims a couple nights ago, and I randomly decided I wanted a ham sim so I googled "Sims 4 ham costume cc".
Atte Anttila
Atte Anttila - 18 days ago
I was installing new shocks to my car. Friend recommended me to break them in before installing by pushing them all to way in and out a couple of times. I decided easiest way to do this was sitting on it with a small plank of wood in between. The plank isnt visible from in front of me so it looks like it slides up my ass. Just as i was compressing it, my friends uncle entered the garage and locked eyes with me as i was slowly going down. He whispered 'what the fuck' and closed the door quickly. Needless to say he was SHOCKED
Robert Bennett
Robert Bennett - 9 days ago
Lol well in reality you dont need to "break" them in though
OLBICHL
OLBICHL - 18 days ago
11:30 Arnie? Is that you?
Ian O'Padrick
Ian O'Padrick - 19 days ago
I was told to get started on some work at the teacher's desk, so I went back to mine to start working. Now, this was 3rd grade, and there was an I Spy book on my desk, and there was a maze on the cover of this particular book. As I was sitting down and reaching into my desk for the assignment, I was tracing the maze out with my other hand. (You only need one hand to get an assignment out of a document.) Teacher looks over, and I'm written up for ignoring her instructions and "playing I Spy."
Lazy Spade
Lazy Spade - 19 days ago
Nptown you can't get away with that shit. Thats jingle all the way
Ms Behaving
Ms Behaving - 19 days ago
9:22 I was 6 feet 5 inches and the girl was about 4 minutes and 11 seconds. LOL
Ms Behaving
Ms Behaving - 15 days ago
@Luca Ratta 😂
Luca Ratta
Luca Ratta - 15 days ago
Ms Behaving that’s pretty young
Lavina Bowman
Lavina Bowman - 19 days ago
For minutes eleven seconds
mathig nihilcek
mathig nihilcek - 19 days ago
The one about the teacher not listening to the child makes me mad too. It's not just that it destroys the child's self-confidence, which isn't a bad thing IMO... it's that the teacher can (and in my experience, often IS) be wrong. And anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot. The only thing worse than a teacher making a mistake, is when a teacher doubles down on their mistake. Look, we all make mistakes sometimes. It's no big deal. In fact, it is a chance to show how smart you are, by realizing your mistake so quickly that the students feel silly for even bringing it up. Like my teachers did. All the time...
The good ones, at least. The good teachers would always listen to my commentary. Most of the time I didn't understand something, but sometimes I was right and it felt rather good to catch them in "Aha!" moments. But the way the teachers followed my logic so ludicrously quickly was a potent reminder that no, just because they made a mistake, that did not mean I had surpassed them. They knew the material correctly, and I was there to learn from them mostly.
I had one bad teacher. She held her ground until the day of an exam, where the issue at stake became an exam question. It was hilarious when she apologized to the entire class for teaching us the wrong answer.
Seriously. The only times you should fail to answer a child or student's question is if you don't have time to answer immediately or don't know the answer. Or make them find the answer themselves. Unless you hate the kid and want their future to be miserable, asking questions is how you get ahead in life. It's how you do well in class, and truly understand the material... Or learn too much and get black bagged by the govern
Kaizoku Mugiwara
Kaizoku Mugiwara - 19 days ago
11:32 Jolly all the Way starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Can't fool me, I've seen that movie.
Kaizoku Mugiwara
Kaizoku Mugiwara - 13 days ago
@OSH yeah, there are a lot of stories that are movie plots. My favorite was when they did star wars. It was just enough to know what it was, but you didn't find out until the end.
OSH
OSH - 13 days ago
Yeah. I was listening to this and was like "WTF? Why he is qouting story of that movie?" :D
NBAZak
NBAZak - 17 days ago
i knew i fucking knew it
Duke00x
Duke00x - 17 days ago
"Jingle" all the way.
Joshua Loven
Joshua Loven - 19 days ago
Thank god I wasn't the only one to spot that!
Aaron Mueller
Aaron Mueller - 19 days ago
Great, now I have a bunch of good excuses when my parents walk in on my gf giving me a bj
MJ B
MJ B - 20 days ago
What's with the random "nx200b"
Gamemaster64
Gamemaster64 - 20 days ago
didn't think the underwear for napkin can really happen.
I'm Purrito
I'm Purrito - 19 days ago
why not?
DaBadGuyCR
DaBadGuyCR - 20 days ago
Saved You A Google:
11:30 in story is the full movie of...... Jingle All The Way.
I couldn't remember the name of that Christmas movie. I'm sure a lot of you will notice its a movie but not remember what it's called so I did the work for you.
Rylan Doss/High Deff
Rylan Doss/High Deff - 17 days ago
DaBadGuyCR “I NEED DA TURBO MAN”
Monika K Villalobos Lillo
Thank you
PP-chan the innocent anime girl
I have the white thing but I can explain
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