Legal Immigration: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

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Comments
Timothy Barnes
Timothy Barnes - 8 hours ago
I love some of your humor but honestly your way off on this one chief. I've actually worked in the immigration system and you have no idea what your talking about its honestly basically a gigantic mess where I personally was told to approve citizenship on a felon serving a triple life sentence because the immigration system is so behind that workers are told to approve everyone and let the system catch it later. Honestly the truth is even more sad than the totally wrong shit your mad about.
Jackel & Dimitri
Jackel & Dimitri - 12 hours ago
Land of the free no no no no no rename it to land of self absorbed assholes that think they can rule by them selves
Michael Bonanno
Michael Bonanno - 20 hours ago
Trump’s only sentence structure is subject then is then adjective ... or subject then verb then adverb. No is no information that anyone outside of him can use.
contis.mp4
contis.mp4 - 21 hour ago
mexican joker is coming for you trump
wpl
wpl - Day ago
Is our country full? US population is 327 million. China population is 1.3 billion. 4 times greater. China land mass is 3.7 million square miles. US land mass is 3.8 million square miles. So a country with a population that is 4 times larger in the same square mileage and whose GDP is growing more than twice as fast as the US tells us what? We need more people. Especially the ones who are motivated to improve their lives. People who are poor and hungry. Desperate for work. Believers in the greatness of the American Dream. People who are seeking liberty from despotism and poverty. Who are willing to work 2 and 3 jobs to make that dream come true. And what is this current president doing? Jailing those people. Removing them from our country. Destroying our welcome mat. Destroying our reputation in the world. We should be hanging up a huge vacancy sign and instead we have an idiot hanging up a no vacancy sign. Hanging up a no trespassing sign. Hanging up a keep off the grass sign. If you like to see China surpass the US in both economy and influence on the world, support this president. If not, remove him from office ASAP.
Nero Noctis
Nero Noctis - Day ago
There’s no greater indignation to an uneducated blue collar white male than seeing an immigrant be more successful than him in life. That’s all it is really about: White Pride, which fuels the Trump Administration. That is their pathetic voter base. The worst America has to offer.
Bob Hager
Bob Hager - Day ago
Heard a bunch of betas booing trump
Stephen2462
Stephen2462 - 17 hours ago
Sure, if by "betas" you mean "people who aren't stupid enough to far for a blatant conman"
Kimberly Cronen
Kimberly Cronen - Day ago
Matthew Soerens has been saying all of this for years! Amen and amen.
Juan Carruyo
Juan Carruyo - Day ago
omg that cuccinelli quote is like a jon wurster character
Juan Carruyo
Juan Carruyo - Day ago
i swear if trump was a stand up, he'd kill. that whole lottery ball routine had me in stitches. he's insane, of course. but jesus, that's good writing.
zarzarbeast
zarzarbeast - 2 days ago
Reminder: John Oliver is not a US Citizen. He is a foreign agent meddling in US elections.
Stephen2462
Stephen2462 - 17 hours ago
He's a US resident that's putting his patriotism on display by trying to hold this country to a higher standard. There's a world of difference between that and say... trading political favors to foreign dictators for dirt on your political opponent.
Belisima 13
Belisima 13 - 2 days ago
But the parliament cant allow him to refuse all the immigrants?...right????
t v
t v - 2 days ago
"Death has a big, fat dick"
so Thanos is into futa
Ryan Japan
Ryan Japan - 2 days ago
Fuck you John house cats are awesome
Fenixz Filip
Fenixz Filip - 2 days ago
Legal immigration is limited cuz of illegal immigration you dumb wit.
Stephen2462
Stephen2462 - 17 hours ago
You've got it backwards; illegal immigration exists because of restrictions on legal immigration.
yuezhtj
yuezhtj - 2 days ago
Nice summary about US immigration process. Could you please do an episode about United Kingdom immigration policy, process and people's attitude to immigrants?
baetoven
baetoven - 2 days ago
Disinformation ought to be illegal when discussing how a process works from a government official, elected or not. Fines linked to wealth makes sense. Give a person a chance to make a very public formal retraction of the statement, and to say they were wrong about what they said.
Arturo Gasca
Arturo Gasca - 2 days ago
"Where are they now?" WTF TRUMP
jmisc
jmisc - 3 days ago
Please make the non R rated one so teachers and professors can show this in the class. Please.
DarkRoe The Nin-Bot
DarkRoe The Nin-Bot - 3 days ago
"Our country is full!"

So...

We're limiting childbirth then, right? No? Cuz we're full, and we don't have the resources for higher population. Or at least we're making it really easy to get tubes tied or cords cut to limit population growth to a maintainable level? No? Then we're at LEAST making sure that those who are citizens are getting the proper care they need, right? No? Then we're at LEAST making sure that our veterans, who sacrificed a lot for our "freedom," have easy and appropriate access to the help resources they were promised? No?

Then I guess it's a bunch of grumpy old Americans who seem more concerned with the idea of control than any of the three ideologies outlined in the United States' Declaration of Independence: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. Hard to live when you can't get affordable healthcare. Hard to have Liberty when basic amendments like the ERA don't exist in the Constitution. Hard to pursue happiness when a bunch of old citizens, stuck in their own fantasy world, fail to see the damage they are causing to the youth they so desperately act like they are protecting, but in reality are just trying to mold into their warped sense of what the youth *should* be.

Hint: the youth will be whatever they want to be, and the more you stifle change, the more it hurts when change finally breaks through.
t v
t v - 2 days ago
I sort of imagine that allowing not-just-born children and full-grown adults into the country with the ability to work and/or go to school right away as opposed to new, resource-and-time demanding babies who will likely graduate into the apocalypse, is a much smarter use of our limited country. ('Course the easiest way to get the most bang for your buck is still to make billionaires pay their mother-f∆cking taxes.)
Jay Dike
Jay Dike - 3 days ago
This was anxiety-inducing to watch. I submitted my green card application a few days ago through marriage and I can't help but feel so scared to be denied as I begin to build my life and home here.
Seth
Seth - 3 days ago
15:00 She literally tells him her family was killed and he’s like where are they now? 😣
Ratigan2
Ratigan2 - 4 days ago
*"Legal. Good. Illegal. Bad."*

...

“I do not like that man Ted Cruz,
I do not like him in the news,
I do not like what he just said,
I do not like his boxy head,
I do not like him wearing glasses,
I do not like him kissing arses,
I wish he'd never get one vote,
That man Ted Cruz can lick my scrotes”

John, you're my hero...
Giggabiite The Cloaked
Giggabiite The Cloaked - 9 hours ago
Alec nolastname though that’ll only happen with extremely large numbers of immigrants, and I think a bit of religious and political diversity is good for both sides.
Alec nolastname
Alec nolastname - 14 hours ago
@wpl My issue with illegal immigration or mass immigration is, it can create a dramatic shift in political policies or religious believes. Both of which can lead to conflict.
Not_My_Name
Not_My_Name - 20 hours ago
Yeah?
wpl
wpl - Day ago
Actually both authorized and unauthorized immigrants are good. Immigrants in general are good. Shrinking population or aging it is bad. If you want a GDP to grow you need more young people.
Kublai Khan
Kublai Khan - 4 days ago
Imagine you came to this country when you were in elementary school - five years later, after your parents became citizen (if), then they sponsored someone for visa. Now that child has grown up, spent half of their lives already, and that sponsored person hasn't received their visa yet - some 30 plus years later. Now, when that sponsored person do get it, they are in their late 60's, what do you think will happen? Not only they will be unable to contribute, but they are spending whatever little money left to get here is all for nothing. That is your legal immigration process currently.
DaveyTheDJ
DaveyTheDJ - 4 days ago
Well if "We The People's country is full well why don't We The People deport the Trump family!
Mitch Brock
Mitch Brock - 4 days ago
IF THIS COUNTRY IS SO SHITTY WHY DOES EVERONE WANT TO COME HERE. AND BY THE WAY LOSE THAT ACCENT
Cioda
Cioda - 3 days ago
1. Because its still better than things that THEY ARE FLEEING! This isnt rocket science. 2. Shut up about his accent. Its fine.
Tim Dewulf
Tim Dewulf - 5 days ago
https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annexatie
time for a revolt https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqUnpCUi9KQ and go boudicca on their asses https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npwM2touF08&t=571s
time to wake up the tribes ; time to wake up the knights . time to wake up ; JUST TIME TO TAKE BACK OUR LANDS and TIME TO GO TO WAR
0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbcPlb0OQw4&start_radio=1&list=RDnbcPlb0OQw4
1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEX96W1pKjM
2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ilFbbk9jw4&t=21s
3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_To-cV94Bo&t=62s
4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRg_8NNPTD8
lyiric:
Min Warb Naseu
Wilr Made Thaim
I Bormotha Hauni
Hu War
Hu War Opkam Har a Hit Lot
Got Nafiskr Orf
Auim Suimade
Foki Afa Galande
What am I supposed to do
If I want to talk about peace and understanding
But you only understand the language of the sword
What if I want to make you understand that the path you chose leads to downfall
But you only understand the language of the sword
What if I want to tell you to leave me and my beloved ones in peace
But you only understand the language of the sword
I let the blade do the talking...
So my tongue shall become iron
And my words the mighty roar of war
Revealing my divine anger´s arrow shall strike
All action for the good of all
I see my reflection in your eyes
But my new age has just begun
The sword is soft
In the fire of the furnace
It hungers to be hit
And wants to have a hundred sisters
In the coldest state of their existence
They may dance the maddest
In the morass of the red rain
Beloved brother enemy
I sing my sword song for you
The lullaby of obliteration
So I can wake up with a smile
And bliss in my heart
And bliss in my heart
And bliss in my heart
Coexistence, Conflict, combat
Devastation, regeneration, transformation
That is the best I can do for you
I see a grey gloom on the horizon
That promises a powerful sun to rise
To melt away all moons
It will make the old fires of purification
Look like dying embers
Look like dying embers
Look like dying embers
Min Warb Naseu
Wilr Made Thaim
I Bormotha Hauni
Hu War
Hu War Opkam Har a Hit Lot
Got Nafiskr Orf
Auim Suimade
Foki Afa Galande
Hu War
Hu War Opkam Har a Hit Lot
Tim Dewulf
Tim Dewulf - 5 days ago
paying for immigration in your country and for europe and they give it to immigrants and they spend it tadaaaaa the mythe of "economic growth " and " buying power "; the only question for who ? and it isnt us
JIZYA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5MZPYC-yMg
DHIMMI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-5kKEHPODE
Tim Dewulf
Tim Dewulf - 5 days ago
REPLACE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVXlwq0pO4A
FORCED https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3w48P6sYJ6o
forced neighborhoods https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xP9TjNj9C8&list=PLpAn3IQAM1otAcfcoMRI4KOoqHiAMFmC8&index=17
EHTNO https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFwckUOZBGE&t=1s
DALAI LAMA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2maJGAZag3s
un migration replace https://www.un.org/en/development/desa/population/publications/ageing/replacement-migration.asp
Tim Dewulf
Tim Dewulf - 5 days ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnvL2PzDVwc&t=348s
Tim Dewulf
Tim Dewulf - 5 days ago
laten we voorkomen dat de geschiedenis zich herhaalt
lets prevent history from repeating itself
A https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkPhmtD1wUI
B https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6F4wBeshTsw&t=51s
C https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERou_Q5l9Gw&t=300s
D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5MZPYC-yMg
E https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-5kKEHPODE
F https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aACpy7fLjFo&t=400s
G https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_To-cV94Bo&t=62s(kort)
H https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_Qpy0mXg8Y&t=1611s
I https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ilFbbk9jw4&t=22s
J https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31E1gHowYcA&t=88s
K https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztos_j0-_04&t=77s
l https://www.dailysabah.com/europe/2017/03/07/europes-muslims-form-own-political-parties-amid-rising-populism-islamophobia
M http://www.billionbibles.org/sharia/sharia-law.html
N https://www.scribblemaps.com/maps/view/No-go_zones_Europe/No-go
O http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3395390/The-Arabic-gang-rape-Taharrush-phenomenon-sees-women-surrounded-groups-men-crowds-sexually-assaulted-spread-Europe.html
P https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnvL2PzDVwc&t=348s
Q
Tim Dewulf
Tim Dewulf - 5 days ago
THE MUSLIMS ARE NOT HAPPY!
They’re not happy in Gaza.
They’re not happy in Egypt.
They’re not happy in Libya.
They’re not happy in Morocco.
They’re not happy in Iran.
They’re not happy in Iraq.
They’re not happy in Yemen.
They’re not happy in Afghanistan.
They’re not happy in Pakistan.
They’re not happy in Syria.
They’re not happy in Lebanon.
SO, WHERE ARE THEY HAPPY?
They’re happy in Australia.
They’re happy in Canada.
They’re happy in England.
They’re happy in France.
They’re happy in Italy.
They’re happy in Germany.
They’re happy in Sweden.
They’re happy in the USA.
They’re happy in Norway.
They’re happy in Holland.
They’re happy in Denmark.
Basically, they’re happy in every country that is not Muslim…and unhappy in every country that is!
AND WHO DO THEY BLAME?
Not Islam.
Not their leadership.
Not themselves.
THEY BLAME THE COUNTRIES THEY ARE HAPPY IN! And then—wait for it!—they want to change those countries to be like….THE COUNTRIES THEY CAME FROM WHERE THEY WERE UNHAPPY!?
t v
t v - 2 days ago
Forgot to upload your Pepe the Frog avatar, I see.
Tim Dewulf
Tim Dewulf - 5 days ago
ONE ARMY WE CAN FIGHT 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUdSS1qp87E THE OTHER NOT SO MUCH 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxbptJj2hMY AND YET THEY BOTH OCCUPY US https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annexatie . ITS TIME FOR A GOOD OLD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqUnpCUi9KQ AND GO BOUDICCA ON THEIR ASSES https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npwM2touF08
Tim Dewulf
Tim Dewulf - 5 days ago
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/21/world/asia/us-soldiers-told-to-ignore-afghan-allies-abuse-of-boys.html?fbclid=IwAR0c-oYx1mbqJOYFDf6d2o_ps3ofT_g2u2T74sJNtyeOPhVB5ViXYwei8h4
CHILD MAR https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=135&v=qfjbmq4vOWU
https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/true-stories/forced-child-marriages-in-australia-theyre-being-groomed-from-the-moment-theyre-born/news-story/35b061492c41bd163d806bf5128e8f83?fbclid=IwAR1ZGcYFXS3uIUTJMwK0lR7DTI1NOQDz_gQLcAsvAjnzhKcCymsEkaAmhE4
Tim Dewulf
Tim Dewulf - 5 days ago
and around 3 mins 52 you see what they have planned with force if need be
1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw5u883ypg4&t=274s
2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69NhRXvPy2c&t=71s
3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTDmsmN43NA&fbclid=IwAR1PVGGzIXKx4n2gn-ZAf8PY_W2kjT8Nsi_mKAcj6nk_LWsvT8bAQDb202Q
4 https://www.un.org/press/en/2000/20000317.dev2234.doc.html?fbclid=IwAR2mpAqWlTfOXYal6glZ3UGlQ3jwQQMibKBr_tO-9Ku9c8VKzdO8QvcjDkM
https://dailypaper.org/amp/2018/09/25/macron-onderschrijft-openlijk-het-kalergi-plan-200-miljoen-afrikanen-die-binnen-30-jaar-naar-europa-migreren/?fbclid=IwAR3ED3zC17NZA7uNPUi9uFJirvLtDYpHOyTDUrJ5EEVx-cA1XZNx-AqUf7M
EN DAN MOET DIT NOG KOMEN https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69NhRXvPy2c
Erik D.Cueva
Erik D.Cueva - 5 days ago
My own dad told me he will hire two Mexicans instead of paying me a living wage.
Andrea Robyn
Andrea Robyn - 5 days ago
People say they love legal immigration but endlessly criticize the types and routinely make it harder and harder for people to immigrate legally.
Isha Biswas
Isha Biswas - 6 days ago
Oliver has an artist's fingers.
ThumperDelta Resistance
Even to me it sounded like the woman speaking to the president said "they KEPT them" the first time she said it.
Daniel Embree
Daniel Embree - 6 days ago
Aren’t we getting full?
Zara Rikan
Zara Rikan - 6 days ago
BTS just got a free advertisement.
Unnamed Player
Unnamed Player - 7 days ago
America: "Don't push kids to show any effort because it's stressing them! That's child abuse, sentenced to life in prison!"
Also America: "The IQ of our country is plummeting!"
Again, America: "LET'S GIVE HELL TO SMART PEOPLE FROM SHITTIER PARTS OF THE WORLD WHO JUST WANTED A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE AND CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY! NOT IN MY BACKYARD!"

...and it cycles like so while occasionally a few lucky ones can immigrate because they had enough resources to survive the bureaucracy.
John O.
John O. - 7 days ago
the only way someone could think Trump has good ideas about immigration is if they are-
A) just as shitty as Trump
B) Trump
Superman's billiger Klon
Our Country is full is what German right wing/nazi parties say about immigration.
I'll let you figure out the rest.
Oh same with fake news media, right winged parties call it "Lügenpresse" (Lying Press)

And many more similiarities.
I truly think choosing between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump was a terrible decision... I just hope that he doesn't get reelected.
Please America, don't vote for Trump a second time!
vilod
vilod - 7 days ago
The audio is bad.
Insomnia NineThree
Insomnia NineThree - 7 days ago
Melania has an autistic anchor baby
Insomnia NineThree
Insomnia NineThree - 7 days ago
Why do all Indians speak English like that? 😂😂😂 so annoying
Avanti S
Avanti S - 5 days ago
Insomnia NineThree different languages use different parts of their throat and tongue to make sounds. If you’ve grown up with pronouncing sounds in one way, it can be really hard to change it hence ‘accents’ (and of course pronunciation is different too). There’s some really good videos on it that explain phonetic sounds and linguistic pronounciation!
user unknown
user unknown - 8 days ago
as an immigrant to Canada (federal Skilled Worker program), I'd like to point that middle class immigrants (especially those with families) who can choose normally won't choose USA. In comparison to Canada or Australia, USA simply doesn't have any permanent legal immigration options. For instance, Canadian federal immigration program requires you to score points to get over the threshold and pass language exams and if you do, you get permanent residence ("green card" like in USA) on your landing (within 3 months to be precise). Therefore, if you can pass those checks and exams, you sure are going to pick Canada over US, as you get security and guarantees of your status immediately on landing. Those who cannot pass these barriers would tend to pick USA.
In the nutshell the difference is: Canada and Australia pick up skilled immigrants with families who know language, got education and professional skills. USA gets semi-random single guys. What USA can do is to introduce clear, strict federal immigration with points and exams available for anybody to apply, without any country quotas. Though it's a long term program, not a quick cash grab over low-qualification illegal aliens without any rights or protection - which seems to be the current USA immigration strategy (regardless what they say on TV).
user unknown
user unknown - 8 days ago
oh, Canada federal immigration does have an income criteria (you should be able to show funds to support your family through first 6 months) and you will be less likely be admitted if you are burden to medical system, that is why medical tests are part of criteria to grant immigration visa.
征夷大将軍坂上田村麻呂
Hello 👋 l’m Japanese.
I have a question. What’s ‘’green card” ?
Could someone explain to me?
Stephen2462
Stephen2462 - 7 days ago
The wikipedia article does a pretty good job explaining it: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_card
Stu Royce
Stu Royce - 8 days ago
1. Europeans discover an already settled "America" and think it's pretty neat.
2. They subsequently emigrate, displace the indigenous population, and bring all their family (along with a lot of folks who didn't get a choice in the matter...) with them.
3. Around half a millennium later, unironically claim that illegal immigrants are bad and declare it full.
Yeah I know, unironically isn't a proper word.
Akash B
Akash B - 8 days ago
As indian I cant come to do my PhD
ScorpionZam
ScorpionZam - 8 days ago
Are we overpopulated or not? Make up your damn minds
SneakySprinklez
SneakySprinklez - 8 days ago
It’s so funny that he hates “chain migration” even though it was proposed by people who were basically racist and thought that they could keep out anyone who wasn’t white this way lmao
brandon lowery
brandon lowery - 8 days ago
Okay let's look at it from a different angle we have veterans mentally ill people on the list could go on people that are already living here that don't have the support they need we do not need to worry about other people when we have people suffering here
Stephen2462
Stephen2462 - 8 days ago
Taking care of one group does not necessitate screwing the other.
mister mister
mister mister - 8 days ago
Comparing to population of India (1.339Billion) and China (1.386Billion) to Mexico (129million) is ridiculous, with the immigration cap of 7% roughly 95 million each from India and China with only 9 million from Mexico.....so, why is Mandarin or hindi not as common second language for the united states? I guess they can't just walk here.
BUTTERCUP Jones
BUTTERCUP Jones - 8 days ago
When you're an ARMY and you see him mention BTS.
Freak out yeah BTS!
Joyce Wang
Joyce Wang - 6 days ago
omgSAME hahaha let me just get off topic for two seconds....lmao
Pino Dekoda
Pino Dekoda - 8 days ago
I'd never immigrate in that shithole USA which exploited our Nikola Tesla. The only Ines Holding up the US are Black People, Asians and Latinos. As long they are Not the majority the US is a shithole. Just look what the fuck you have in the White House.
Squidicus Pastry’s
Squidicus Pastry’s - 8 days ago
God I would love to show this to my very trump loving Alabama history class but my teacher wouldn’t allow it for the fact of cussing which sucks
osmark86
osmark86 - 8 days ago
I remember thinking the US was the best place to live as a child/teen. As an adult I'm so damn happy I was born a Swede. Your country is full of a lot of wonderful people but it's a dog eat dog violent culture I wouldn't want to be part of. I hope you find your way again.
James Harris
James Harris - 8 days ago
There is a question about the legal status of Trump's own wife, so much for legal immigration.
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